Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Ishinebrightly : Aloha! My name is Ariel Matthews and I was born and grew up in Great Britain until I was 13. I am the daughter of a very wealthy family and grew up in wealthy private schools of New York. I enjoy the beach, drawing, and riding my 3 horses: Sadie, Butterz, and Marcie. Message me to get to know me better(:
I used to compete in Pageants when I was little and won almost every time I competed. I play lots of volleyball and I'm on one of the best teams in the United States.
I've had my experience with douche-bag boyfriend so if you need some advice message me!!
I've traveled the world on vacations. I'm fluent in 4 different languages: Spanish, French, Greek, and Japanese.
People say that I'm a brat but I don't really think that I am. I don't let having money get to me at all.
I drive a Veyron Bugatti. I never get to use it because I live in New York and because my chauffeur takes me around in the Hummer Limo. Thinking about selling my car so if you want it, message me!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
Friday 21 November 2014