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About IrishRyan : Hi my name is Ryan and that's all you need to know :P
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (3285)
On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa
Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (3647)
On 07/25/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by blackberrybummer (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (4959)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (2053)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (22369)
On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (154334)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12159) - you deserved it (149208)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66833) - you deserved it (180348)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170828) - you deserved it (52067)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (255564) - you deserved it (35230)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147877) - you deserved it (55388)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8097) - you deserved it (54302)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
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