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Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36669) - you deserved it (3055)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (506)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (65120)
On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (5159)
On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47549) - you deserved it (2365)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (8392)
On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (3562)
On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (15770)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (7462)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by WetPhone (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (22134)
On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74426) - you deserved it (4910)
On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (3398)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59146) - you deserved it (7390)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (12873)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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