About IrIsH_sHoRtY : I am an Irish American who despite living in the US, must still deal with many strict cultural traditions from my family. Living with the physio Irish people can be rough, but entertaining
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Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6455) - you deserved it (22225)
On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (48627)
On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (2863)
On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (4044)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States
Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (2346)
On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (3467)
On 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by neveragain89 (woman) - Australia
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (3750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (5869)
On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (1636)
On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (3701)
On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (57289)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (1271)
On 01/03/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by mazzer (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (5906)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
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On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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