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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 46013
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Insert_Wit_Here's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (4997)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64522) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50289) - you deserved it (4529)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68333) - you deserved it (40027)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (64730)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49512) - you deserved it (21319)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States



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