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Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16699) - you totally deserved it (2658)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33996) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you totally deserved it (9121)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you totally deserved it (2127)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you totally deserved it (2615)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52915) - you totally deserved it (1715)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you totally deserved it (2691)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62778) - you totally deserved it (6048)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you totally deserved it (12307)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8395) - you totally deserved it (38481)
On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you totally deserved it (12139)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66176) - you totally deserved it (8171)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43am - money - by rovery (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep in the train. When I woke up, everybody was staring at me with a strange smile. I'll probably never know what I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you totally deserved it (1667)
On 11/09/2008 at 10:01am - misc - by DaGoU - France (Ile-de-France)
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