About Insane_Tea : Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*
Respect women and children. The color of our skin does not matter, but the content of our character. Your still alive, that's all the inspiration you should ever need. P.S- Brunettes are always the prettiest.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (9425)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (1605)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (16362)
On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (2160)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12624) - you deserved it (25848)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (9853)
On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61194) - you deserved it (3343)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (4661)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (74478)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56354) - you deserved it (6602)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (12425)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58737) - you deserved it (5580)
On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (85945)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (85945)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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