Insane_Tea

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Offline (the 04/04/2014 at 2:16am)

Insane_Tea

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5295
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Insane_Tea : Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*
Respect women and children. The color of our skin does not matter, but the content of our character. Your still alive, that's all the inspiration you should ever need. P.S- Brunettes are always the prettiest.

Insane_Tea's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 2:08am<b>Zlunder</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 6:45am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:45am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:52pm<b>CJ77</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:41pm<b>derplogic</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:50am<b>vaxc</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:56am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:10pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:34pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:07am<b>tmanator123</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:03pm<b>1HateMyUsername</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:20pm<b>cameron6731</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:38am<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:49pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:26pm<b>Iarla_ceapaire93</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:40am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 4:08pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:26am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:02pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:25pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:17pm

Insane_Tea's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Insane_Tea's badges

Insane_Tea's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

by neverStopLaughin / 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

by Jinthebar / 05/06/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

by Sebastian / 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

by frenchpop1960 / 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals