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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (32606)
On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4982) - you deserved it (26441)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by imabadperson (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17841) - you deserved it (5554)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50151) - you deserved it (4590)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (1473)
On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (2397)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (2905)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (4967)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (6019)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (3531)
On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (1450)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18666) - you deserved it (2007)
On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61223) - you deserved it (2880)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (2458)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (5207)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
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