About InsanePPG : When I'm not reading FML submissions, I'm knitting or doing college-related stuff. And for those of you who read the submission where the person thought she saw a baby but the "baby" was actually a coconut...well, that's my mom.
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Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (3075)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (6264)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (7119)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2718)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53535) - you deserved it (5831)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (2897)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6402) - you deserved it (36520)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64390) - you deserved it (4521)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (38025)
On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (118920) - you deserved it (5914)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62365) - you deserved it (3688)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you deserved it (10866)
On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (49251)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (5710)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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