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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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InsanePPG

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InsanePPG
  • Town/Country : NYC, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About InsanePPG : When I'm not reading FML submissions, I'm knitting or doing college-related stuff. And for those of you who read the submission where the person thought she saw a baby but the "baby" was actually a coconut...well, that's my mom.

InsanePPG's last visitors

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InsanePPG's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

#18904031 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (2269) - you deserved it (6059)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (802)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (1372)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (943)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (1113)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (2008)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (12948) - you deserved it (1378)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (4334)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (9948) - you deserved it (5837)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3383) - you deserved it (18687)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (2079)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

#18147886 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (4082)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (21934)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)