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InjuryMagnet

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InjuryMagnet

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 270
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About InjuryMagnet : Meow.

A quote from Who's Line Is it Anyway?

If you know what that is, you are my new hero.

InjuryMagnet's page activity

Visits<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:43pm<b>hawk2099</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:37pm<b>shadan</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 3:15pm<b>GRgoldfish</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:49am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:43pm

InjuryMagnet's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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InjuryMagnet's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (3416)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (40632)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65763) - you deserved it (12197)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6950) - you deserved it (31205)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (4712)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (4712)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (4544)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (9155)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (5852)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10795) - you deserved it (44225)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version



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