About Incitatus : Today, this person was reading my description. I don't even know them. And it isn't even funny. FML
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43258) - you deserved it (6428)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (49084)
On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (6822)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (54871)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (1924)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by hawtpinkpanties (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (97529)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (7903)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50901) - you deserved it (8192)
On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (241538)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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