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Incitatus

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Incitatus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Incitatus : Today, this person was reading my description. I don't even know them. And it isn't even funny. FML

Incitatus's page activity

Visits<b>delhh</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:50pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:45pm<b>why_God_why96</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>ohno12321</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:34am<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:44pm<b>amg9681</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:23am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 3:21pm<b>lolmigosh</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 12:41pm<b>technodr01d</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:03pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 9:14am<b>Leighanne_x</b> - the 12/04/2010 at 6:20pm<b>cristinaa_</b> - the 11/30/2010 at 6:39pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 2:16pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 4:21am<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 11/16/2010 at 8:01pm<b>TiffyFoexss</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 1:59pm

Incitatus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Incitatus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (11344)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

#12167424
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by 34_22_34 (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (55522)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (5978)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (32907)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (4119)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40210) - you deserved it (1919)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (4440)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (3924)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48457) - you deserved it (2111)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

#5136505
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (12267)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States



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