Incitatus

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Incitatus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2779
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Incitatus : Today, this person was reading my description. I don't even know them. And it isn't even funny. FML

Incitatus's page activity

Visits<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:17pm<b>delhh</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:50pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:45pm<b>why_God_why96</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>ohno12321</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:34am<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:44pm<b>amg9681</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:23am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 3:21pm<b>lolmigosh</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 12:41pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:23am<b>technodr01d</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:03pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 9:14am<b>Leighanne_x</b> - the 12/04/2010 at 6:20pm<b>cristinaa_</b> - the 11/30/2010 at 6:39pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 2:16pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 4:21am

Incitatus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Incitatus's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML

by spleg / 12/16/2010 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

by Username / 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

by itsover / 12/11/2010 at 12:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

by iamnotuseless / 12/10/2010 at 6:37am / Health

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

by augh / 12/10/2010 at 3:24am / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 8:15am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

by saywhat / 11/25/2010 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

by wow / 11/25/2010 at 2:32am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous