Incitatus

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Incitatus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2495
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Incitatus : Today, this person was reading my description. I don't even know them. And it isn't even funny. FML

Incitatus's page activity

Visits<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:17pm<b>delhh</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:50pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:45pm<b>why_God_why96</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>ohno12321</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:34am<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:44pm<b>amg9681</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:23am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 3:21pm<b>lolmigosh</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 12:41pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:23am<b>technodr01d</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:03pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 9:14am<b>Leighanne_x</b> - the 12/04/2010 at 6:20pm<b>cristinaa_</b> - the 11/30/2010 at 6:39pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 2:16pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 4:21am

Incitatus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Incitatus's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML

by spleg / 12/16/2010 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

by Username / 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

by itsover / 12/11/2010 at 12:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

by iamnotuseless / 12/10/2010 at 6:37am / Health

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 8:15am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

by saywhat / 11/25/2010 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

by wow / 11/25/2010 at 2:32am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous