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Incitatus

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Incitatus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1282
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Incitatus : Today, this person was reading my description. I don't even know them. And it isn't even funny. FML

Incitatus's last visitors

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Incitatus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Incitatus's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML

#14221798
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3649)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:06am - health - by spleg (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9391) - you deserved it (22359)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33957) - you deserved it (7695)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

#14160868
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (2722)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (2871)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

#14156953
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (4455)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

#14151481
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (4349)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by iamnotuseless -

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

#14150656
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (3936)

On 12/10/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by augh -

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (35200)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you deserved it (19065)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (19854)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#13985101
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31893) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

#13980533
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14373) - you deserved it (33118)

On 11/25/2010 at 10:28pm - misc - by saywhat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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