Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Columbia, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 859
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Immortal_Toaster : Just a dumb kid working on my life.

Immortal_Toaster's page activity

Visits<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 1:09pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 9:41am<b>BigL99</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:56am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:02pm<b>symfora</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:47pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:34pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:04pm<b>californian21</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:51pm<b>romaique</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:29pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:06pm<b>feeloona</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:04pm<b>KaylaRenee1122</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:37pm<b>BrightBlue87</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>constipation</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 8:41am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:56pm

Fucked!<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:04am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:05pm<b>feeloona</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:04pm<b>polariz</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:16am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:36am<b>KaylaRenee1122</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:44am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 9:14pm

Immortal_Toaster's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Immortal_Toaster's badges

Immortal_Toaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (4816)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (57078)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44533) - you deserved it (4159)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55646) - you deserved it (8191)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: