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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (2324)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (5819)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (10237)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8703) - you deserved it (24188)
On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (3236)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (4204)
On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancée, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancée for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (273437) - you deserved it (10293)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343741) - you deserved it (40830)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76048) - you deserved it (203451)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (215548) - you deserved it (26940)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276915) - you deserved it (23328)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276915) - you deserved it (23328)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (327453) - you deserved it (45364)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199767) - you deserved it (58909)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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