ImNotANapkin

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ImNotANapkin

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1460
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ImNotANapkin's page activity

Visits<b>cookiesFTW</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 11:13am<b>xxjeramiahxx</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:51pm<b>panda900</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:07pm<b>JohnnyDontCare</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:44am<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:18pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:08pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:56am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:59am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:27am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:54pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:51am<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>forsaken74</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:27am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/14/2012 at 1:59am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 8:33pm

Fucked!<b>xxjeramiahxx</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:51am

ImNotANapkin's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ImNotANapkin's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

by msnewyearseve / 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

by ZINGER / 11/14/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy