Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ImNotANapkin

Search for a member

ImNotANapkin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ImNotANapkin's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:54pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:51am<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>forsaken74</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:27am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/14/2012 at 1:59am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 8:33pm<b>burtonbullet</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 4:15pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 4:33pm

ImNotANapkin's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ImNotANapkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13232) - you deserved it (49225)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65237) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

#18750277
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10565) - you deserved it (31683)

On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17241) - you deserved it (31346)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51792) - you deserved it (4408)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (10572)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (13037)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (39195)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12067) - you deserved it (55613)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

#18728659
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (3877)

On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

#18716457
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you deserved it (50380)

On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43918) - you deserved it (4158)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (27407)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: