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ImNotANapkin

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ImNotANapkin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 742
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ImNotANapkin's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:54pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:51am<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>forsaken74</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:27am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/14/2012 at 1:59am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 8:33pm<b>burtonbullet</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 4:15pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 4:33pm

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ImNotANapkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53390) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (3723)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (30625)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (7042)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (3871) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26186) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML

#18817356
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (36112)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:36pm - misc - by Rebecca (woman) - Canada

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

#18815086
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (4308)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (12237)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20333) - you deserved it (6115)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (6846)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

#18795232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (5146)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14223) - you deserved it (43892)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)



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