Hey hey. Sooo, I work a lot and am trying to model on the side. Hit me up, I love meeting new people!
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8153) - you totally deserved it (1839)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33985) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you totally deserved it (13407)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you totally deserved it (2383)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you totally deserved it (15869)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you totally deserved it (46818)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7121) - you totally deserved it (89910)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you totally deserved it (65006)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you totally deserved it (7505)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you totally deserved it (42967)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you totally deserved it (4816)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11968) - you totally deserved it (45457)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you totally deserved it (15452)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3798) - you totally deserved it (49875)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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