Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Illiandray

Offline (yesterday at 8:06am) | Search for a member

Illiandray

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 February 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Illiandray's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Illiandray's favorite FMLs

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (4820)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

#21273859
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (2807)

On 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (3521)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (3837)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (15694)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

#21271313
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (33282)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (5523)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (6958)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (27)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (44506)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (44702)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (9989)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (9222)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: