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IllestBitchAlive

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IllestBitchAlive
  • Town/Country : fuck no...im all country bitches, /oh hell yes(;
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IllestBitchAlive's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

#19921886
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (2068)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:09am - love - by forgottenbday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15694) - you deserved it (28939)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (2592)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11801) - you deserved it (33755)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11801) - you deserved it (33755)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (3158)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5166) - you deserved it (40113)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (17391)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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