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Ilikeurfmls

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 6:11pm) | Search for a member

Ilikeurfmls

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4550
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

Ilikeurfmls's page activity

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Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46208) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (5807)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (83500)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (4888)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3169)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (10451)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (23443)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

#6386124
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (36412)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm - work - by Masonlee89 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

#6084223
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (7142)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:32pm - kids - by apparentnerd (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

#6080955
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (22939)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

#6054945
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (6208)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by girlthatstoofat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12931) - you deserved it (54809)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (2237)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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