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Ilikeurfmls

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3740
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

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Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

#7587300
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4938) - you deserved it (47315)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (3922)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (28824)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML

#7312861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/13/2010 at 12:29am - kids - by bern5555 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (3695)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (9752)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43070) - you deserved it (2862)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (5741)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (83266)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39820) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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