About Ilikeurfmls : YOLo fuCK BitChEs geT da MonYe DoEJust kidding if you really say that i'll probably hate you. I hate people. I don't think i'm funny or cleaver nor do I try to be. I just try and state the obvious. Most of my comments suck I know I just don't care. Oh and on 8/11/12 I met FIR Jacky said hi and asked me how I was doing while I kinda got ignored by Ronnie while my dad talked to him I stood there shaking. Nuff said about myself. I'm a fangirl what can I say. :x
I'm always on the app so if I don't respond to a message don't worry, I might not hate you.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (8721)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38100) - you deserved it (4754)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (2763)
On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (6124)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46510) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (5908)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (5964)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (1793)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (29544)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (2900)
On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (4475)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (3118)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (1804)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9804) - you deserved it (24998)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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