Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ilikeurfmls

Online | Search for a member

Ilikeurfmls

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4553
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

Ilikeurfmls's page activity

Visits<b>akacruz</b> - 9 hours ago<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:00am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:27am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:11pm<b>BrianWinter</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:07am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:27pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:00am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>recklessryan</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:20pm<b>pplthinkimbad</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:43pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Laconic01</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:59pm<b>WhatsOpTic</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 10:15pm<b>badluckross</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:39am<b>steffysxe</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:26am<b>xXChaosRoseXx</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:54pm

Ilikeurfmls's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Ilikeurfmls's badges

Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40754) - you deserved it (5481)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (39033)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52404) - you deserved it (3296)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (4103)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41114) - you deserved it (6885)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (4097)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50996) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51033) - you deserved it (4959)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (2832)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38486) - you deserved it (16689)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: