About Ilikeurfmls : YOLo fuCK BitChEs geT da MonYe DoEJust kidding if you really say that i'll probably hate you. I hate people. I don't think i'm funny or cleaver nor do I try to be. I just try and state the obvious. Most of my comments suck I know I just don't care. Oh and on 8/11/12 I met FIR Jacky said hi and asked me how I was doing while I kinda got ignored by Ronnie while my dad talked to him I stood there shaking. Nuff said about myself. I'm a fangirl what can I say. :x
I'm always on the app so if I don't respond to a message don't worry, I might not hate you.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (9288)
On 05/30/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by peopleinthepark (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (14013)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (5122)
On 05/20/2009 at 9:50pm - love - by chickennoodlesoup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52451) - you deserved it (6445)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49645) - you deserved it (3080)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60137) - you deserved it (6122)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47089) - you deserved it (3124)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53879) - you deserved it (4291)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (5719)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18am - kids - by thesitter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39802) - you deserved it (12425)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (4121)
On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61124) - you deserved it (6678)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (9630)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Tor (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59724) - you deserved it (7497)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59745) - you deserved it (8550)
On 04/17/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by RotoRooter (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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