The end
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you totally deserved it (4011)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:29am - kids - by FAIL (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my blackberry started to ring from my pocket... FML
I agree, your life sucks (8338) - you totally deserved it (31803)
On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you totally deserved it (4162)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11745) - you totally deserved it (32442)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, naked myself as it seemed convenient. He disapproved, proceeding to scratch my manparts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen manparts, and an 8" needle hole in my butt where I had to get antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9103) - you totally deserved it (41287)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37020) - you totally deserved it (6545)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42019) - you totally deserved it (2223)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52010) - you totally deserved it (3272)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44743) - you totally deserved it (1681)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you totally deserved it (3190)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you totally deserved it (4076)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you totally deserved it (2517)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you totally deserved it (5774)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my first kiss. I'm 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73251) - you totally deserved it (13191)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by bathtime_ (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
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On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)
