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Ibitezombiesyum's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
by Jilly / 08/08/2011 at 2:45am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
by BrokeAndPsst / 04/12/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I had a job interview at 9:00am. I left at around 8:30am, and as soon as I got in the car to drive to the interview, I checked my phone again, and it said 10:33. My boyfriend had decided to change the time on my clock as a "joke." FML
by catsofly7 / 01/30/2011 at 8:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm / New Zealand / Work
by Anthony / 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by S.Bunny / 01/22/2010 at 3:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
by JustMyLuck / 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
by alsayslegit / 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work
by toosmall / 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head… Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests,… Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of…