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Ibitezombiesyum

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Ibitezombiesyum

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 380
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ibitezombiesyum's page activity

Visits<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 5:09pm<b>okthelegend</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:47pm<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:00am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 11:56pm<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Alchemics</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:51am<b>aaaaaaaaaaaaazz</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:33pm<b>mefq</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:14am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:21pm<b>bearbear120</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 6:58pm<b>BlackRuse</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 2:28am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 8:30pm<b>Kalynnasaurus</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 8:34pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:16pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:32pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 5:23pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 10:34pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 11:20pm

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Ibitezombiesyum's favorite FMLs

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42911) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30619) - you deserved it (8768)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33018) - you deserved it (4717)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (6680)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (4000)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (9515)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

#19746396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9211) - you deserved it (14331)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:50pm - misc - by jenny2989 - United States

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (2127)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (4624)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML



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