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Iamnotmyself

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Iamnotmyself

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5310
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Iamnotmyself : I shall become a God, I was one before, I shall be reborn anew.

Ari Arias

Iamnotmyself's page activity

Visits<b>emmachristine</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:29pm<b>redwoods</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:21pm<b>bananaman223</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:19pm<b>tripwire234</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:52am<b>CRAZYCOW777</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:57pm<b>deepfreeze78</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:39pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:10am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:50pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:21pm<b>missangelali</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:47am<b>pessimistprime</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:33am<b>kendallfireHD</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:06pm<b>dyazdani0720</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:43pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:17am<b>Killer67a</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:52am

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Iamnotmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

#17436937
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (3613)

On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (6450)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

#17428761
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (20701)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by elvisfreak5446 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (14236)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13826) - you deserved it (43175)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (10097)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37061) - you deserved it (10682)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (34384)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

#17148307
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (4358)

On 07/17/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (7576)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

#17143306
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (8476)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2400)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

#17137243
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (16979)

On 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm - work - by Brian - United States



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