Iamnotmyself

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Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 4:25am)

Iamnotmyself

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6675
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Iamnotmyself : I shall become a God, I was one before, I shall be reborn anew.

Ari Arias

Iamnotmyself's page activity

Visits<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:55am<b>pillowmountain</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:58am<b>Erebos_</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:15am<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:54am<b>Dawdlepuss</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:53pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:17pm<b>chlolo95</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:39pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:49pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>plsdonthateme</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:45pm<b>LostCosmo</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:36am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:35am<b>oreily12</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 9:12am<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:09pm<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:51am<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:16pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:21am

Fucked!<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:00pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:04am<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:42pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:49am<b>SuperVertigo</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:22am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:42am<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Sccrstud2</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:30am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:44am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Krazybloo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:39am<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:14pm

Iamnotmyself's FML badges

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50 quality responses

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Iamnotmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Work

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 2:04am / Canada / Love

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

by elvisfreak5446 / 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

by it_IS_just_me / 07/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

by imobesejk / 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

by Brian / 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm / United States / Work