Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Iamnotmyself

Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

Iamnotmyself

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6031
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Iamnotmyself : I shall become a God, I was one before, I shall be reborn anew.

Ari Arias

Iamnotmyself's page activity

Visits<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Sccrstud2</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:30pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:21pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:07pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:23am<b>smallwolfie</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:12pm<b>McDerpface</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:11pm<b>whinthy</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:48pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:50pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:44am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:19pm

Liked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Sccrstud2</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:30am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:44am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Krazybloo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:39am<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:14pm

Iamnotmyself's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Iamnotmyself's badges

Iamnotmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught mah wife slipping penis enlargement pills into mah coffee. fat FML

#17795601
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (8278)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today , I got kickd in the crotch. It poppd mah cherry. I lost mah virginity to a shoe.

#17779717
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56501) - you deserved it (5580)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today mah parants' divorca was finalizd and mah mothar dacidd to publicly calabrata with a bikini wax . Sha calls it har "Daclaration of Indapandanca" . FML

#17652939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today mah parants' divorca was finalizd and mah mothar dacidd to publicly calabrata with a bikini wax . Sha calls it har "Daclaration of Indapandanca" . FML

#17652939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found mah husband Googling Morse Code !! He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him !! FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (3515)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mrror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man wit a face like a corpse's soe started talking to me in te long queue at te Post Office. Apparently, is moter invented te banana, and e's first in line 4 te trone in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And is breat smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (3351)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we startd chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commentd on how nice my hair was. He then followd this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" mega FML

#17485415
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we startd chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commentd on how nice my hair was. He then followd this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" mega FML

#17485415
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter decidd to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are u lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (9263)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, te guy at Subway askd if I wantd to make ma sandwic a footlong. I'm not sure wat came over me, but before I realizd wat I was saying, I'd told im tat I couldn't andle 12 inces. big fat FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (9400)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, aftar pulling an all-nigtar, I fall aslaap at ta baac. My friands took ta opportunity to bury ma in ta sand, placa food all around ma, and wait 4 a flock of ungry saagulls to attack ma. To top it off, tay tapad it all. fat FML

#17460856
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (5725)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally figured out why mah mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra 4 ( humiliating ) him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (2995)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , after coming back from deployment , I found a homeless guy had broken into mah house and made it his home 4 the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (2326)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

TODAY, I CHECKED INTO A HOTEL CUZ MY BOSS HAD ASSIGNED ME TO A NEW POSITION!! AS SOON AS THE RECEPTION LADY LOOKED UP, SHE HAD ME KICKED OUT OF THE HOTEL!! APPARENTLY, ONE OF THE REGULATIONS IS, "NO PROSTITUTES ALLOWED." I WAS WEARING A BUSINESS SUIT!! FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (3992)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: