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Iamnotmyself

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Iamnotmyself

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5231
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Iamnotmyself : I shall become a God, I was one before, I shall be reborn anew.

Ari Arias

Iamnotmyself's page activity

Visits<b>Jason324</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:22pm<b>austinssquidgy</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:59am<b>PB_Crocodile</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Bullet75</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:34am<b>EmoKami</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:36pm<b>bakajr</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:44am<b>keeeegan</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:08pm<b>Akerra89</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:37pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Mafioso97</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:05pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:22pm<b>fxxth</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:14am<b>MsJewelable</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:50am<b>sacrednite</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:42pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:57pm<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:13am<b>MurderBlack</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:32am

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Iamnotmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44968) - you deserved it (8121)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML

#17652939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML

#17652939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (3406)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3328)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

#17485415
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (4617)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

#17485415
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (4617)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (9212)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (9366)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (5703)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (2875)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35914) - you deserved it (2300)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (3828)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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