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Iamevil123

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Iamevil123
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Earth
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 372
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Iamevil123 : Why hello there! Welcome to my delightful profile and, please, make yourself at home!

I'm just a normal guy with normal likes and dislikes and a 'warped' sense of humour.

Feel free to message me. :)

Urrrm yeah... That's pretty much it.

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Iamevil123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53557) - you deserved it (6489)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51310) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (51279)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (44475)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (61216)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45232) - you deserved it (12833)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66699) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39212) - you deserved it (6392)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52041) - you deserved it (4046)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (8079)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (71521)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49230) - you deserved it (6922)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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