Iakona

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Iakona

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 173
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Iakona's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Iakona's badges

Iakona's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy