o hai.
send me a message, i'll reply. most of the time anyways.
;3
oh, and I spelled 'like' wrong on purpose.
;333333
OHHH, AND I ALSO RIDE A KANGAROO TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY.
Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4020) - you totally deserved it (860)
On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5445) - you totally deserved it (14868)
On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8272) - you totally deserved it (16768)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4601) - you totally deserved it (12244)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2983) - you totally deserved it (36017)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you totally deserved it (1341)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3707) - you totally deserved it (25672)
On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you totally deserved it (18880)
On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you totally deserved it (3020)
On 11/05/2009 at 1:41am - love - by dumper - United States
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5250) - you totally deserved it (28526)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5726) - you totally deserved it (43722)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you totally deserved it (17716)
On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you totally deserved it (5564)
On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6018) - you totally deserved it (37835)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you totally deserved it (8275)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
