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IHurtMyself

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IHurtMyself
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  • Number of visits : 2389
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54057) - you deserved it (10194)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203488) - you deserved it (59403)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013
773 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54154) - you deserved it (424622)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (471191) - you deserved it (585079)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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