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IDunnoz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

IDunnoz's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

by weddingbells / 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 3:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

by sadsadlady / 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

by stupidpolicia / 09/25/2009 at 4:33am / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

by smiletellsall / 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

by hockey9797 / 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

by Liz / 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Transportation