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IDoGiraffes

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IDoGiraffes

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IDoGiraffes : I am an actor, I drum, sing and play guitar. I am a great artist and I love video games. I have a crazy sense of humor!

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IDoGiraffes's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (14386)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (44890)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (3744)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (7210)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (9372)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (4012)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (4016)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (4043)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (35654)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (9162)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45403) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version



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