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Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (1994)
On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39262) - you deserved it (3887)
On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13298) - you deserved it (32280)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by MessedXUp (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (8343)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (30391)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (57716)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (11977)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (11977)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (75997)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61202) - you deserved it (3343)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4452)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11747) - you deserved it (36645)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (4637)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by alphabetman (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (2223)
On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51051) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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