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Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (26678)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38023) - you deserved it (2699)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5134) - you deserved it (38791)
On 10/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Britters89 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (15032)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (4045)
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6593) - you deserved it (26903)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (2439)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (30764)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (30764)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6368) - you deserved it (88039)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58484) - you deserved it (8020)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (2217)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (2925)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (2794)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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