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Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (4889)
On 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm - work - by Nick (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73872) - you deserved it (9458)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7606) - you deserved it (55934)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (6488)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51288) - you deserved it (3609)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (6341)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (21919)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (10897)
On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52479) - you deserved it (24842)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (2427)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3504)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (6059)
On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (7157)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55735) - you deserved it (9515)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56875) - you deserved it (9493)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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