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Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (3059)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49641) - you deserved it (13466)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (20372)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (2986)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was riding my motorcycle. Suddenly, I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. As a sign of anger, I spat my gum towards her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into the bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8997) - you deserved it (52088)
On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (7057)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14326) - you deserved it (38429)
On 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (9907)
On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (9907)
On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (4341)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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