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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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TODAY, MAH DAD PICKED ME UP FROM SCHOOL, SOMETHING HE'LL BE DOING WHILE MAH BROKEN LEG HEALS!! HE THOUGHT IT'D BE HILARIOUS TO ARRIVE EARLY AN ASK THE STAFF WHERE HIS "CRIPPLED" SON WAS, LOUDLY SAYING I'D BROKEN MAH LEG IN A "MASTURBATION-RELATED ACCIDENT"!! FAT FML
Today, my college did a fre drill, an instructions were given by intercom in English an Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English an Mexican, why say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, an he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents r related. real FML
Today I started a new job!! Tree of Kenyan coworkers keep getting togeter and reminding me tat aving more tan one wife is okay in tere country!! I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far!! FML
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." mega FML
Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's 4 a late night snack . Turns out she lid to me an just usd me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing . I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars an make out . I just want fries . FML
TODAY, A GUY IN MAH CLASS WAS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF. HE STARTED HIS STORY WITH, "WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WAS A GINGER." I REPLIED WITHOUT THINKING, "IS THAT WHY U GOT PUT UP 4 ADOPTION?" HIM BEING ADOPTED WAS THE ACTUAL STORY HE WANTED TO TELL. REAL FML
as I got out the shower , my mom walked in to give me a towel , then quickly covered her eyes and said , "Woah , I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over , and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this 4 at least the next month. FML
today wile at te bakery, I stood tere trying to pick between black forest and dark cocolate!! Te salesman said kindly, "I've eard dark cocolate elps u lose weigt!! Yea, you'd definitely want dark cocolate." mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015