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Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (14066)
On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (2758)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5700) - you deserved it (14664)
On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (1558)
On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML
I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (4074)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:17am - health - by ksztte (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (2703)
On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4398) - you deserved it (34496)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (1905)
On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (15250)
On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (3283)
On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (1957)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13918) - you deserved it (3979)
On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9274) - you deserved it (16909)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (1819)
On 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm - kids - by luciaspiano (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (1785)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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