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Mobility
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Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (5465)
On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (2841)
On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -
Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (8896)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (36745)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (4862)
On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32597) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (2223)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (2223)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (2223)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (3194)
On 04/10/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (21692)
On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (3379)
On 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm - kids - by heathersmorin - United States (New York)
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (2705)
On 04/08/2011 at 11:03am - love - by hopeless -
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (7988)
On 04/03/2011 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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