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Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16237) - you deserved it (10035)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (1633)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (1383)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (1495)
On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2064)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (2294)
On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (22823)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2602)
On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22749) - you deserved it (1888)
On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (4854)
Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16694) - you deserved it (2178)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11566) - you deserved it (36124)
On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10882) - you deserved it (41722)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9851) - you deserved it (41658)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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