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HumorInBlue

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HumorInBlue

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HumorInBlue's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70052) - you deserved it (18344)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (6044)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (9288)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (15072)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (2838)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228829) - you deserved it (80530)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79359) - you deserved it (24647)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39418) - you deserved it (2741)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (28754)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (30190)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (24547)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)



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