HumorInBlue

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HumorInBlue

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1778
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HumorInBlue's FML badges

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HumorInBlue's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

by highlycontagious / 02/22/2009 at 4:45am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

by taperjeangirl / 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

by Rye / 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

by lene / 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

by lonely / 02/05/2009 at 10:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

by suicide / 02/04/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

by fuckedalready / 02/03/2009 at 7:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

by beckbr / 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Love