About HteaXtrainC : "Being mature isn't acting like an 'adult.' Real maturity is acknowledging the way you are and being that way regardless of what the world thinks."
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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (113767)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (162932) - you deserved it (22128)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83341) - you deserved it (23675)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (485822)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (69086)
On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103792) - you deserved it (28196)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12642) - you deserved it (56479)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (247381)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185217) - you deserved it (21615)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71445) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65420) - you deserved it (8895)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML
I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (1890)
On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (6835)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134497) - you deserved it (37251)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12536) - you deserved it (28546)
On 02/08/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by olivia_stealth (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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