About HowAreYouToday : How are you today? Personally, I have seen better days... I came to Earth on the ship Degui MXXVIII, after my planet Vlou was destroyed by the invading Ortri soldiers. When I arrived in 1760, I was shocked at how primitive your species was, and set out on a quest to change that. Now, all these years later, you're living that story...
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (4633)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (3345)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (3720)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73959) - you deserved it (3031)
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5213) - you deserved it (16732)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5213) - you deserved it (16732)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (6175)
On 03/28/2012 at 7:19am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20116) - you deserved it (1399)
On 03/15/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Teh_dw33bin4tor (man) - Australia
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6786) - you deserved it (99618)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (2783)
On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13351) - you deserved it (4609)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Kayla_Zee_Ninja - United States
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (21288)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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