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HowAreYouToday

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HowAreYouToday
  • Town/Country : Earth, Milky Way
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 October 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2698
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About HowAreYouToday : How are you today? Personally, I have seen better days... I came to Earth on the ship Degui MXXVIII, after my planet Vlou was destroyed by the invading Ortri soldiers. When I arrived in 1760, I was shocked at how primitive your species was, and set out on a quest to change that. Now, all these years later, you're living that story...

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HowAreYouToday's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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HowAreYouToday's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1361)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (4124)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (2469)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (1411)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (1653)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (1751)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (15869)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14874) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (1122)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (5481)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (5481)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (108963)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (2819)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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