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HowAreYouToday

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HowAreYouToday
  • Town/Country : Earth, Milky Way
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 October 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2701
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About HowAreYouToday : How are you today? Personally, I have seen better days... I came to Earth on the ship Degui MXXVIII, after my planet Vlou was destroyed by the invading Ortri soldiers. When I arrived in 1760, I was shocked at how primitive your species was, and set out on a quest to change that. Now, all these years later, you're living that story...

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HowAreYouToday's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of HowAreYouToday's badges

HowAreYouToday's favorite FMLs

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (6813)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (3963)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (5830)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (7483)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (1814)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (2207)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

#20499439
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (5033)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (7014)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (2164)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (7976)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (6013)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML



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