About HowAreYouToday : How are you today? Personally, I have seen better days... I came to Earth on the ship Degui MXXVIII, after my planet Vlou was destroyed by the invading Ortri soldiers. When I arrived in 1760, I was shocked at how primitive your species was, and set out on a quest to change that. Now, all these years later, you're living that story...
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (5523)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (3427)
On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23198) - you deserved it (2088)
On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (4222)
On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (7302)
On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (1732)
On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4861) - you deserved it (39329)
On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (6826)
On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (47553)
On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (2497)
On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27559) - you deserved it (1662)
On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19020) - you deserved it (7421)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42874) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (4135)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (1761)
On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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