About HowAreYouToday : How are you today? Personally, I have seen better days... I came to Earth on the ship Degui MXXVIII, after my planet Vlou was destroyed by the invading Ortri soldiers. When I arrived in 1760, I was shocked at how primitive your species was, and set out on a quest to change that. Now, all these years later, you're living that story... I would like to add that in a little bit you'd all be able to read a few stories I wrote because I'm going to set up the link. :3 I hope you guys would check it out. (Gonna be up on May 24, 2013)... Also, if you want to check out my (horrible & crappy) art, look me up on deviantart as TheDeliriousOne. :3
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (3454)
On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)
Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (4147)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (6242)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you deserved it (4494)
Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48857) - you deserved it (4292)
On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you deserved it (2278)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (2519)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (2440)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (2048)
On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (2048)
On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (6347)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11306) - you deserved it (31770)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (5056)
On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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